Sometimes I can't figure people out...

At this juncture of the journey, I am used to people thinking I am weird - not quite understanding where I am coming from. I am way beyond all those comments like "I could never stay with my children all day". I have come to realize that I am different and the choices my family has made are different from mainstream - but I am happy with them. I have for the most part found like-minded people and groups here and there that remind me that it's ok to be different. Then you get to the homeschooling community. One would think that we would have an inherent boud because homeschooling is so different from what is going on with society - but there are some stark differences that I am experiencing right now. I am not sure whether it is religion - because although one could call me a Christian - in that I follow Christ, I do not adhere to the mainstream Christian perspective on things. I am not a MCCain voter - I am not a voter period. If I were a voter I would vote for the "other" - and my "other" does not appear on the ticket. This is a digression - it is not about politics. Perhaps it is about the fact that the Christian group requires one to sign a "statement of faith" - which I do not agree with and will not sign. For them - I am a scary influence on their children.

I think it is more than this. I think it is school-st-home versus whatever one wants to call what I do. What I do know is that by supporting my children and letting them follow their passions - they have become very good at certain things. Brianna is extremely talented in all things musical and theatre. I know that if I had, had the same chance to pursue it I would be way ahead of where I am now - but alas school and the "have-to's" get in the way. So could this be it? My experiences of late of other homeschoolers - who just are a bit snarky and not very nice - is it because of a jealousy thing - or because the way we do things are so different from them?

I am far from the perfect mother - but I am learning as I go. I know that I don't want to be yelling at my child or correcting other people's children in public. I do know that if I knew my child was making mean remarks about some other child, I would address it.

I know that this is something others have had to face within the homeschooling community. We are a diverse group and don't always get along or see things the same way. But what really gets to me is that often the meanness comes from those professing a Christian faith. The exclusion comes from those supposedly wanting to spread the Gospel. I realize we are all only human - but some are quick to pick-apart others without seeing the hypocrisy of their actions.

I haven't been able to sleep well as I try to figure out how to handle the situation. I probably should just come out and say something - get it off my chest. Maybe I can phrase it as a "let's unify" and get over the issues speech. I will have to give it some thought.

What I do know is that I will continue to be myself and let my children develop their talents and I am proud that they are unique - that we are unique as a family. I never know where life will take us - and it does bother me when people you think would support you and you would have camaraderie with, turn out to be not very nice. John thinks I should just quit - if I am not enjoying the play - however it is not the play - and I am not willing to give up support of the theatre because of people that I may not encounter all that often after this. I guess they call it "acting" for a reason ;-)