Learning Compassion

Yesterday we all had a lesson that none of us will forget. It is amazing the things that happen in everyday life that make you change and grow.

After our church meeting on Sunday, it was our turn to drive home an elderly man who attends meeting. I was alone with my three children, as my husband was at a brothers retreat weekend. As is our custom, we took Bob out to lunch. As we were sitting in the restaurant, Chase notes that the man sitting in the wheelchair in front of the hotel next door did not have any ankles. He kind of giggled a bit and this became for me a lecture on how one should be thankful that we all have legs and healthy bodies. We watched this man for a bit, and he seemed really close to the very busy main road and seemed to be struggling.

We finished our lunch, got everyone in the car and as I was about to drive past the hotel, I looked at the man and all of the sudden felt that he really needed help. So I pulled in and stopped and went and asked him. He did not have legs, had a bunch of things in his coat, a bag at his feet and looked a little worse for wear. He explained that he was meeting someone at the top of the hill and was trying to wheel himself up. This is in Baltimore - the traffic is horrendous and there was not much side space for him to travel on. He was going about 1/2 mile up the road. I was really concerned - I wanted to help and my first thought was just take him in the van. But I felt that fleeting concern that here I was with three children and an elderly man in my care... I often want to help people that I see looking for a ride and such, but tend to get concerned with safety when I have my children with me - or am alone.

So, I went in and asked the lady at the desk at the hotel about this man - and she was very unconcerned. I expressed that he was struggling and right at the entrance to the hotel where cars are turning and wondered if he was someone that they saw often. She really didn't have much to say, didn't seem to want to help. So I just followed my gut instinct and went back out and asked him if I could take him in the van. He seemed so relieved that I would do this. So I get the kids to move to the back seat, and this man gets in to my very high van, slowly and painstakingly, refusing my attempts to help. He said he maneuvered himself all the time - and wheels himself all over, but was just having trouble with this hill.

The kids sat in silence as I drove....and believe me, they are never silent! The man proceeded to tell them (and me & Bob) how he had lost his legs and just had the most positive outlook on life despite his infirmity. He said 'Life is hard without legs...life is hard with legs for that matter...you just need to keep a positive outlook and always keep pressing forward."

He was thankful that I stopped and said most people don't notice or care. I told him that sometimes for me it is fear that holds me back. Just because someone is in a wheel chair, doesn't mean they don't have a gun in their pocket! And especially being in Baltimore - I am not local; I don't really know where I am going. I just felt in this instance that it was ok.

The kids did not stop talking about it all day. Lexi said she thought it was scary that I took a stranger in our car. The kids watched as he struggled to get in and out of the van. We have a conversion van and so it is rather high up. He was adamant that he would be fine - and as we left he mentioned that the only thing he has not tried to do without legs was to swim - and maybe he would try. Brianna said it was really nice that we helped him and she was glad that we did. It was the first thing she told her Dad when he called. Chase noted how sad it was to have lost your legs. (No more giggling about missing ankles from him again, I'm sure)

The thing about it is that I think it did more for us, than it did for him. I have been having worries about money -and feeling lack. I had been worrying about going to lunch because we really didn't have the money, but it has become a bit of a habit to take Bob out to lunch and I can tell he enjoys being with us and enjoys the company - so I didn't want to not go. Being with this handicapped man - with such a tremendous spirit, just made me feel such gratitude. It made me thankful for the opportunity to help, because sometimes in life you feel that everything you do has selfish motives, or will benefit yourself in some way. It made me thankful for all that we have...and I certainly did not feel any "lack".

The Bible notes that "men have entertained angels unaware" - and there are times when I wonder if people are placed in your life for a reason. If angels do really give you a message of hope. If these are things that are meant to help you to see the big picture.

I do know this - this will be something that all of us will remember for a long time.